hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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