Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
