Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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