Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
how drunk are you?
Several
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
