Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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