Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
