I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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