Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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