He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
