Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just threw up on my dentist
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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