Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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