How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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