I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
