I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
