just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
