last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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