"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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