So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize