I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
NoShamevember. You game?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
