apparently the secret to your success is patron
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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