I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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