Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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