So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
