at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
