His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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