Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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