Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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