Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
