Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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