Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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