We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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