he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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