Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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