i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
