Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
sex in a hospital.. check
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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