dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
