omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You can't special order awesome
you would pick up someone in the library
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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