Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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