Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Could a canary swim?

(952): View more from Minnesota

Last time I ever let you pet sit.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.

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(716): View more from New York

Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(231): View more from Michigan

i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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(805): View more from California

Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?

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(443): View more from Maryland

i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god

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(563): View more from Iowa

Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic

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