it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours