Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

(757): View more from Virginia

your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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(440): View more from Ohio

that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(636): View more from Missouri

No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.

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(914): View more from New York

If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.

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(818): View more from California

You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance

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