think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?