Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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