you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
