Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
