Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
