try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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