1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize