shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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