No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
