new low.... made out with someone while peeing
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
