Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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