Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize