he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
