my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
