We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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